“Why does my gamer rage and yell at me when I ask him to do his chores?”
Every day I see parents asking this question out of fear, out of anger at their child’s behavior and out of desperation to “fix” this problem.
The answer to this question actually involves a series of questions that will help us get to the root of the problem so that we may begin work where our efforts will actually bring the desired results we are hoping for.
I’m going to show you a proven strategy that will help you get to the root of this problem. After you have read this blog post, you will have an understanding of how to apply this powerful technique to solving almost every obstacle or problem in your life including the burning question that was posed at the beginning of the post.
In the 1930’s, Sakichi Toyoda, a Japanese industrialist, inventor, and founder of Toyota Industries developed a technique called the 5 WHY’s to help solve problems by discovering the root cause of what created it originally. Toyota still uses this technique today as it has proven to allow them to understand what is happening on the shop floor as opposed to guessing what’s happening in the boardroom.
Many problems that we face today are merely symptoms of deeper issues and unless we are able to discover the root cause of a problem, we may discover that our attempts at solving problems remain futile because they keep coming back and possibly even worse than when we first discovered it. To help solve video game addiction, we must recognize that any effort to apply a fix without first identifying the root of a problem will be nothing more than a band aid to a wound that will keep coming back.
To get to the root of a problem, you can begin by asking why 5 times. So let’s begin this thought experiment together in hopes of understanding why people have become so addicted to video games.
As you can see, the gamer is the linchpin for companies to make money which is their priority. Most often than not, gamers don’t consider anything that we just explored with our thought experiment because they are too enthralled by their games.
Microsoft often uses the phrase “ keeping gamers at the center of their experience” because they recognize that gamers must focus on the games, not a life outside of gaming. Developers have become adept at keeping their “customers” focused on them by ensuring that they remain thinking of them even when they aren’t necessarily gaming. To do this, they have created alternative communities and industries to give players reasons for engaging even when they’re not gaming.
Your loved one that is spending what you believe is too much time playing video games is merely a consequence of what the gaming industry has created. To get your gamer back, you are competing against an industry worth billions of dollars that is rapidly growing.
But the battle is not futile. As we discovered in our first thought experiment, what keeps gamers connected to their virtual worlds are the devices that create the portal. These are the mobile phones, the consoles and the PC’s that they use every day.
Now your first inclination may be to simply remove them from their devices but unfortunately, it’s not that easy and we can again utilize the 5 Why’s to understand why that is.
As you can see, the solution to begin helping our kids lie in helping the parents first by attaining the skills, mindsets, strategies and supports.
Watch: Next Gen Addicts
As difficult as it is, we must also understand that our gamers behaviors towards us should not be taken personally, rather, what you are seeing is a person who has been behaviorally modified and is in fact a victim. It’s important to view them as someone who needs help and the best step to take from here is to find help and support for yourself first so you can develop the required skills to begin the desired transformational process.
It’s also important to know that every gamer is different, every parent is different, and every circumstance provides their own unique challenges.
So in order to help your gamer re-prioritize life over gaming, you must be the one to take the first step. If you would like to learn if I can help you and your family begin this process, then please visit https://www.davedaoust.com/about to learn more.
Clicking on the link will take you to my Primed For Life program page and will show you exactly what you can expect if you decide to move forward with my program.
Ultimately, I advise you to lead with love again, and try to rebuild your relationship with your gamer before you try to help them. This is done through communication and interaction. Sit with them and learn about their games. Ask questions about their games and discover why your kids enjoy them so much. This will help you to re-establish trust which will be a key bridge that you need to build first to show that you are an alley and not the enemy.